Help! How do I Get off this Ride?

Nothing like unemployment time to help you find perspective.
Think of this image of the Great Wheel in Seattle as a big giant hamster wheel in our own cage of life. We are running around in circles going around and around but going no where. We are going from our jobs to our families and then to bed wishing we had more time. The truth is, we will never have enough time or is it?
So far in this 4 months of free time, I have learned that time STILL goes by quickly.
There is always something to do, someone to visit or somewhere to go. The question really is HOW do I use the time that I have?
As an artist, I now realize that God has given me a gift. God has given me the gift of time to reflect on which direction to go with my life and passion. Prior to this, I was too busy paying my bills and working my job to see the truth. I was living in fear.
Now that I am actually not working, I have learned that my world is not falling apart.
I am learning that I want to have a life of purpose and meaning. I am connecting with friends that I love and appreciate even more.
I want to take classes to get better with my craft of photography and take business classes to help me get my work out there. I now realize that in order for more people to see my work, I have to put my work out there for people to see.
I love to travel and explore so I am finding out about travel tours to be able to do that.
My first gift to myself will be to go to my whale watching tour in September. This has been part of my living list for a long time. I want to connect with these beautiful giants and hang out with them.
Use your time wisely. Do what you need to do but put some time for yourself to enjoy your passions. It is not selfish but necessary. You will be a happier person and it will open doors that you didn't dream of.
Happy Tuesday everyone!

Dazed and Confused.

When I first started this journey about 10 years ago, I was so lost and confused.  I didn't know who I was and where I was going with my life.

I was in a dead end job and I was in dysfunctional relationships.  Boy, I was just going around in circles.  I was so unhappy and unfulfilled.   I just kept on asking the question what was wrong with this picture?

I call it my lost years.

What was wrong with the Picture?   All the answers were on one single word and that word was ME!   Yes...me!

At first, that was a hard pill to swallow.  My ego was not going to allow that answer.   It had to be my job, the people that I knew or the men that I was dating but NOT me.  It was everything outside myself.   I didn't want to know the truth.

I then asked God (yes, I believe in God) to show me the truth.   I asked God to give me the answer to the question I was asking.  Don't worry God, I can handle the truth.  The simple truth is that we really can't handle the truth.  Funny how that works.

But, God in his infinite wisdom showed me in baby steps.   To get my attention and this was back in 2005, I was hit by a car.  Not an easy way to start my search but it did get my attention.  You can only bitch for so long when you're in pain.  I was blessed that no bones were broken and that I wasn't killed.   Physically, I spent a week in bed and healing with the help of Ibuprofen and a good chiropractor.    Emotionally, I had the help of great friends and the help of the Unity Church.

I had just started going to Unity Church before I was hit by the car.   The Course of Miracles gave me the tools that I needed to handle this situation.   To be honest with you, it was  free therapy and boy did I do alot of crying during that 1 hour.  Unity Church started my emotional healing and started me on my personal relationship with God.   This was class 101 in who is God really?

In order to understand previous comment, you have to understand one simple thing.   I was raised in the Catholic Church.  Ahhh...you say.  Now, you get it.   Not that Catholics are bad people but this will have to continue on the next blog.   I seem to have run out of space.

What is a girl suppose to do?